Senjou
by Urchin Power
Summary: [Battlefield] Good things equal to bad things, which equal to something not quite describable... [Horo HoroxRen, HaoxLyserg, YohxTamaoxAnna]


**_Authoress:_**_ Dead Insomniac  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters used in this story, they are masterpieces by the fabulous Hiroyuki Takei._

**_Summary:_**_ [Battlefield] Good things equal to bad things, which equal to something not quite describable. [Horo HoroxRen, HaoxLyserg, YohxTamaoxAnna]**  
Rated: **PG 13**  
Category: **Humor/Drama/Romance  
**Warnings:** Shonen-ai, Cross-dressing and a little thing called character bashing. (Sorry Manta-kun!!!) ****_

**_Note:_**_ Greetings, this is my first fic here, so I hope that you all enjoy this. Okay, this story takes place somewhere, but not the original story setting, according to Shaman King. So basically I'm just using the characters in a completely non-shaman-related story. So now, all the characters will suffer the thing we all like to call school. This will be a YohxTamaoxAnna, Horo HoroxRen, and HaoxLyserg. The first chapter takes place on a Thursday._  
  
Senjou  
_Battlefield_

            Most of the time wars are fought with guns, swords and other such weapons. According to the dictionary, they say that war is a contest between nations or states, carried on by force, whether for defense, for revenging insults and redressing wrongs, for the extension of commerce, for the acquisition of territory, for obtaining and establishing the superiority and dominion of one over the other, or for any other purpose; armed conflict of sovereign powers; declared and open hostilities. To be at war is to be in an active state of conflict. 

            Though… This war is quite different. Instead of swords you find your average HB lead pencil and instead of guns you find your paper planes that are not very harmful unless it managed to find it's way into the eye or digestive system of a person. Not implying that a certain spiky blue haired boy attempted to swallow a paper plane mistaking it for a deranged looking lollipop.

            War can start in the most ridiculous ways. But that doesn't really matter; it was usually the progress of war or its conclusion. Conclusions, whether it was good or bad always turns out the opposite of what a person tries to obtain. Tao Ren learned that maybe conclusions aren't so bad; too bad he learned it the hard way. 

~*~*~

            It was plain disgusting. He didn't really know that anyone could stuff that much food into one's mouth. For some reason, Horo Horo always managed to make that situation possible, even though the outcome wasn't what one would call pretty.

            That was beside the point though. For some reason, Ren was having a very bad day. He missed the bus and was forced to take a ride with his oneesan and her koibito. That was about the worst ten minutes of his life, seeing them doing… stuff. But hey! At least they didn't start humping like wild zebras. 

            Later on, he remembered that he forgot to do his math homework and the sensei (who looked very much like a boar in my opinion) brought him out of the room to call his parents. Who let's say weren't the most flexible people on Earth, and who are for sure going to give this poor Ren hell for the rest of his life. 

            Upon leaving his first class, he 'accidentally' bashed into the Almighty Science Sensei Faust, who dropped an open jar of dead frogs onto Ren's head. He could safely say that the second class was okay. Except for the fact that he failed two quizzes given and everyone except for Chocolove avoided him because of the frog gut in his hair and everywhere else. Luckily the sensei gave him the permission to wash off in the bathrooms, and it wasn't because she couldn't stand the smell. 

            Now it was lunch, and Ren could safely conclude that today wasn't the best of days. Especially to sit in between Hao and Lyserg. The two of them were facing their worst break up ever, which could even rival their break up #57. It turns out that Hao wanted to screw Lyserg senseless one day, but the other boy refused (you see, they were in front of the whole group). Hao got very mad and Lyserg then felt guilty and wanted to make it up to Hao by doing it with him then and there. Hao then refused and said, "Never! I'm not gonna screw someone as prude as you!" Lyserg then got sort of offended and then said, "Fine!" 

            "If you love me you'd screw me when and where I want!" Hao yelled into Ren's ear. Yoh-buntai was practically giving looks of sympathy towards Ren who had his eye slightly twitching. [1]

            "But I told you that I'd … you know! Now stop it! You're making a scene!!" Lyserg replied yelling. Which Ren concluded was ten times worse than Hao's scream, for when Lyserg decided to yell or such he would go into a very high pitched girl yell.

            "Well, apparently I don't! And No! I won't stop, cause I'm mad at you!" Hao screamed. The bickering continued as Ren noticed that not only was he receiving sympathetic looks from Yoh-buntai, but from all over the cafeteria.

            That was still rather minor compared to his view. As stated before, Horo Horo and food equals disgustingness. He couldn't believe that that much food can fit itself into a _human_. But the lunch ladies seemed please to know that business was going swell, if it weren't for Horo Horo, they wouldn't have to cook, and well, they wouldn't have a job now, huh? 

            "Urusai damu!!" Ren yelled at the top of his lungs, which instantly led to a very awkward silence between the two slightly insane lovebirds. 

            "Well at least you didn't have to kick me out of _my_ apartment!" Hao continued to yell ignoring completely whatever the hell Ren just yelled.

            "Hey! I don't mind. That weird smell's gone." Yoh suddenly interrupted. He was glared down by his twin brother and noted that if he wanted to live at all, he would have to keep his mouth shut.

            "Kami-sama! What the fuck is wrong with the two of you?! Can't you just shut the hell up?" Ren yelled again being somewhat ignored.

            "My beer has better be untouched!" Hao suddenly shrieked.

            "Who said you're moving back?" Yoh and Lyserg both said back in unison.

            "Said me!" Hao yelled, screaming his ass off and jumping up and down, for you see, when he got really mad, he just didn't know where to put all the anger.

            Meanwhile Ren just stood there looking very lonely, but eye twitching repetitively. Staring at Horo Horo's attempt to eat the rest of the population's food supply didn't help either.

~*~*~

            _Tamao slowly and quietly opened the door to the library, peeking her head in first then the rest of her body. She walked around aimlessly until she found him. Asakura Yoh, her god and idol. She made her way over to him._

_            "Hello Tamao!" Yoh said happily._

_            "Hello Yoh-senpai!" [2]_

_            "What's up?"_

_            "I was wondering if we could do something sometime, like a date." Tamao replied._

_            "Cool! I'll see you tonight at seven! I'll pick you up!"_

            Tamao slowly and quietly opened the door to the library, peeking her head in first then the rest of her body. She walked around aimlessly until she found him. Asakura Yoh was what appeared to be sleeping at one of the tables, not surprisingly listening to his favourite singer. [3]

            "Yoh." Tamao whispered, Yoh didn't so much as stir. She frowned poking him on the shoulder. Seeing that that had no effect she whispered still quietly, "Anna-san's coming." With that the brunette immediately shot his head up in fear and glanced around. Seeing no danger he yawned and tilted his head over to Tamao.

            "Um. I was wondering if-" Tamao started until she was interrupted by non other than Hao who appeared from out of nowhere.

            "Guess what ototo? Lyserg-koi and I are back together, we just made out in that corner." Hao said rather loudly making a bunch of people glare daggers at him. "Unfortunately he said that he was _late_ for class. Can you believe that? I mean, sure, only by half an hour!" Hao said taking a seat next to Yoh. "So, Lyserg-chan gave me back my keys to my apartment. So now I'm back. I hope you didn't touch any of my things while I was away." As Yoh was about to reply he was then interrupted by Hao once more, "And you should have seen the look on that senior's face." He said pointing to this weird haired man, who seemed to be glaring holed into Hao. "Isn't that your friend Ryu? Cause I thin that he likes Lyserg-chan, but he knows that he can't have him cause I'm always screwing his ass off." Hao laughed evilly. Yoh just sweat dropped along with Tamao, who was standing right behind the longhaired… freaky insane person.

            "Can you leave now? I'm talking to Tamao." Yoh finally said this time interrupting whatever nonsense his niisan was about to utter.

            "Oh. My bad then." Hao said slinking away, looking rather displeased. Yoh on the other hand was looking as pleased as punch and motioned Tamao to sit next to him.

            "So what was it you were going to say?"

            "I was just…"

            "Yes?"

            "I was just wondering if…" Tamao paused, "We could maybe…" She paused again. "You know…" Another long pause. "Are you awake?"

            "Huh? Sorry my bad." Yoh said shaking his head a bit and blinking several times afterwards. "You were saying?"

            "Um. I'm just you know." Tamao paused once more. "Maybe we-"

            "Oh shit!" Yoh finally exclaimed receiving a huge 'Shhh!' from around the whole library. "I'm 45 minutes late for History class!" Yoh said running on the spot and looking around nervously as though the geography sensei was right behind him. "Gomen! We've gotta talk about this some other time!" He quickly dashed out of the library leaving the pink haired girl to just stand there tilting her head slightly to the right.

            "Why doesn't real life follow dreams?" She muttered.

~*~*~

            "How was school my kawaii chibi ototo?" Jun said turning from the front seat to see her brother glaring back at her, eyes looking really murderous. Horrible, just horrible. As he suspected, the last two periods were just as bad as the first two. Physical Education would be the worst for Ren and Horo Horo broke into another big argument which led to Horo Horo pulling down the already PSM-y boy's pants down. [4]

            It was not at all pleasant.

            So how was his day?

            "It was great neesan." Ren pouted.

            "That's the spirit ototo!" She smiled petting her brother on the head, of course avoiding that weird pointy thing.

To Be Continued.

**_Note:_**_ Alrighty, so that would conclude chapter 1. There isn't much Horo HoroxRen yet, but I'm sure that the next chapter will get better… hopefully… *shifts eyes around* Now to explain the numbers inside those weird cubic brackets._

[1] Yoh-buntai is Yoh-team, cause I really don't feel like naming them all. 

[2] Yoh-senpai means Yoh-superior

[3] Many things to explain. First Asakura goes before Yoh cause Asakura is the last name and in Japan and China the family name goes first. Also if you realize I spelled favourite with a 'u' cause I'm Canadian, but I hear that in the USA they write it as favorite. Next: Bob? I think that that's whom Yoh listens to.

[4] Guess who has PMS? *grins* ^Gets slapped over the head^ 

_If you really like this story you can check on my progress through the means of my profile. But if you want better and more specific progress reports you can check inside my livejournal, the link is found inside my profile. My usual update takes around a week to two weeks. Feel free to grab a cookie from the forbidden cookie jar! Thanks for reading!_

_Ciao!_


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